2012 Update

Hello everyone!!  Thought I’d write a few lines to reflect back on where I’ve been and where I’m headed next.  After much soul searching and a lot of help from friends and professionals alike, I can say I have a better sense of direction today.  I haven’t had much time to blog because since the beginning of 2010 I embarked in the process of obtaining a master’s degree in mental health.  So it’s hasn’t been the case that I haven’t been writing at all, just writing for a particular audience and purpose.  Had I not gone through the process of going to therapy myself, my graduation coming up next week would not have been remotely possible.  At the time of my last post I was in an extremely complicated crossroad in my life, struggling with my core values, figuring out what to do with my relationships.  As many people do, my reason for wanting to continue my education was more than monetary, but to try to understand myself better as well as human behavior in general.  Wow, I can honestly say that I’ve done a lot of growing since my last post.

Spiritually, I have a better sense of who I am and how I’m connected to the world.  I do not believe in religion.  I am definitely an agnostic, but I do consider myself to have a sound sense of spirituality.  I’m not in the business of converting anyone to follow me, or calling people of any faith ignorant or stupid.  If it works for you, more power to you.  I simply have no desire to engage in religiosity or to be converted myself.  What I do believe is that as humans we do have a connection to each other and the entire planet, all living things.  Greed, power, and the need for control and influence seem to fuels religion.  Religion corrupts the spirit, and in my opinion, divides us more as a people.  Coexistence is not taught by any major religion, there must only be one right path to take.  So that’s why I don’t subscribe to religion, it works for me.  This world has been here way before religion was ever invented.  I don't believe for a second that right path for all of humanity can be simplified into one closed ended answer.

Not being religious does not diminish my sense of purpose at all.  In fact, I feel better oriented as to how I want to live the rest of my personal and professional life than ever.  I do enjoy helping others process their own emotions, problems, and challenges.  I’ve always been fascinated with human behavior and the human condition and I’m finally at a place where I can really make a difference.  If help one individual gain clarity in their life, I’ve done what I’m supposed to do as a person.  I still have lots of baggage, who doesn’t?  The difference is I’m aware of it now, so that I can better separate myself from it when I have to help someone else.

Politically I’m as liberal as I’ve always been, going crazy over so much nonsense I see on TV and listen on the radio.  As an African American with Hispanic ethnicity, who can also identify with the Asian culture, my worldview and awareness of unfairness, racism, discrimination, social warfare, religious warfare, gender warfare, corporate welfare, and the business of war is even more acute.  I still get upset about being marginalized, about insidious attempts by certain interest groups to continue demonizing the poor, the oppressed, and those who don’t fit into their neat little social construct.  Oh yes, I’m still Jay, just a tad bit older, with a few whites coming out of my beard now, but still passionate about knowledge and freedom from being boxed into a category.  When I see how good this country can be, and the fight that is going on as we speak to resist change to keep people ignorant and afraid of different, my stomach turns. 

I don’t give up my position as quickly I used to.  I like to talk to others; it’s the only way I can see where someone is coming from.  So I wait, I let the person speak, I encourage conversation, I contribute to the discussion, but I hold my opinion until I’ve challenged the other person’s own views with questions and scenarios.  I’m aware that not everybody is going to like me or what I have to say.  So before I say something I’m going to make sure I have sound reasoning and even proof of what I’m saying to an extent.  This is the best way for someone else to know where my head is, what my convictions are, and what I want for my brothers and sisters.  I have a facebook account too which I use to stay connected with my daughters and some friends.  I’m glad I didn’t invest in facebook, I don’t have that kind of money anyway.  I’m digressing though, I do share my feelings on facebook as well, but it’s such a different animal all together.  I can post song that I like, or talk about what I had for lunch, share a picture, root for my baseball team, I would get instant feedback on any of those things.  I can say something completely stupid and would get someone to like my post.  The second I talk about voting rights, women’s rights, discrimination, war, hate, racism, colorism, genocide, or anything I feel the need to vent out about, I get very little feedback if any.  That’s the kind of mindless bullshit going on with facebook.  People are afraid to take a position on anything of substance, and it’s real a shame that so many people just don’t care, they feel annoyed about talking about things not related to real housewives, or dancing with the stars, or whatever bullshit TV show is out there.  I do value good entertainment, but come on people; we have to wake up if we don’t want others to run over us.  This is such a critical time in our country, and most people are sleeping through this fucking corporate takeover.  We could be doing things in this country that would benefit every single individual in the nation.  Instead we are letting corporate politicians undermine every attempt to bring equality, spreading lies through fear mongering with racial under tones at that.  Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m still alive, better than ever, and still me, forging my own revolution!!